A New Chapter Begins…
I’m three weeks removed from giving my only daughter away to a fine young man in marriage. I’m two weeks removed from dropping my only son off in Southern California (1937 miles away) for college. So begins a new chapter for Tina and me, as empty-nesters.
We knew long ago that Lyndsey and Brandon were going to be married. They dated for six years, and had been engaged since Christmas 2005. Wedding plans kept the “special day” in the forefront of our minds for a year and a half. So there were really no surprises along the way, except for the occasional added expense here and there. When the week of the wedding finally arrived, we found ourselves saying, “Wow, I can’t believe it’s really here!”
The wedding was beautiful! Lyndsey was simply radiant! I held myself together pretty well; up until the last bridesmaid walked down the aisle. The piano music paused, I looked at Lyndsey and said, “I love you Lynds.” She said, “I love you dad.”
As Mark Pence played “The Luckiest” by Ben Folds, Lyndsey and I walked teary-eyed down the aisle. I thought to myself, “I think I’m going to make it down there okay.” Then I looked at my younger sister, Jenni, and she was just boohooin’. Needless to say, it was all I could do to hold my entire being together at that point.
As we approached the altar, I noticed that Brandon had a single tear falling down his cheek. He just gazed at Lyndsey and said something to her under his breath; she just smiled. When it came time for my “line” (who gives this woman?…), I said very proudly, but almost in a whisper, “her mother and I.”
The rest is history.
A truth hit me the day following the wedding. It was a revelation to me that I’m sure has affected many a father after giving away their daughter. The Lord told me very clearly, “you’re no longer her authority figure.” It was a WOW! moment. And I completely understood what He meant. For almost 22 years, Lyndsey lived under my authority. Even though she had been away at school for two years, and lived on her own, I was responsible for her well-being, and she was submitted to me as her authority (her Dad).
But at the moment they were pronounced Husband and Wife, that authority shifted. No longer is the authority she submits to mine. The Bible teaches the wife to submit (to come under the protection of) to her husband, as she would submit to Christ; and the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and gave Himself for us. So what God was telling me was, “she’s now one with Brandon; no longer is the legal or spiritual responsibility yours to lead her.”
That was a moment that brought closure for me, and a tremendous peace.
This is part one of this new chapter. The next part addresses leaving my son in Southern California, 1937 miles away. Stay tuned.
Brian
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