A New Chapter Begins…(part 2)

After coming to grips with giving my daughter away in marriage, and saying goodbye to the blissful couple as they left on their honeymoon to Cancun, I had precious little time to prepare for our next life-changing event…driving my son Austin to college in Southern California 3 days later.

We live in Southern Illinois. Laguna Niguel, CA is 1937 miles away (3 days of driving).

The journey westward began on Tuesday morning, August 7th. Austin’s best friend since kindergarten, Bryce Tucker, is also going on this trip. They are rooming together and going to the same college, Saddleback College, (no connection to Saddleback Church) in Mission Viejo, CA. Bryce’s dad Phil, along with little bro. Brett are also going on the trip. Also along for the ride is Josh Ragain, good friend of both Austin and Bryce.

I won’t bore you with trip details, other than it was enjoyable, and that Austin’s car performed magnificently for the entire trip (it has 201,000 miles on it).

Once there the focus was getting the boys settled-in for life on their own. Most important was going to the school to make sure all the details were addressed (Financial Aid, Parking permit, class schedule, etc.) so that Phil and I could come home knowing the boys were ready. And for the most part, that was accomplished. Hey, we’re men, we’re going to forget a few minor details.

In the forefront of my mind was, “Am I ready to let go of my son, and will I be ready when it’s time to say goodbye?” I knew that we had only 4 days together out there, and I wanted to spend them wisely.

Our flight was to depart out of LAX at 7:30 am, which meant that we had to leave at 5 am to get to the airport in time to jump through all the hoops of security and general waiting. I didn’t want Austin to have to get out of bed that early to say goodbye, being half asleep. So I decided that the night before would be our time together, to say goodbye and have the dad-to-son pep talk. (Let me just say here, that no amount of advance preparation can prepare you for this moment.) I told Austin how proud of him I was. I told him that I completely trust him, and that his mom and I have no reservations about him being responsible on his own. (picture me barely being able to speak at this point.) The words I was about to say, God gave me moments before I uttered them. I said, (while blubbering) “my job is done, you’re His man now. I’ll be leading from a distance.” Then I said (blubbering even more), “I released you to Him spiritually a long time ago, now I’m releasing you physically, and I’ve never had to do that before.” He looked at me and said, “you did a good job.”

God had given me a picture a few months ago concerning our kids, that their wings were starting to flap. They were still on the ground, still at home under our watchful eye, but they had discovered their wings and were getting ready to use them to take flight. This picture became so vivid as Austin and I were hugging each other. He has taken flight.

I knew for sure, at that moment, that for Austin to be anywhere else would be a dis-service to him. He wanted to be in California; for his degree (digital and media art design), he needed to be in California; and he deserved to be where he wanted to be. This is where he will flourish. This is where he will make an impact for God’s Kingdom. This is where he will become the leader God is calling him to be.

I flew home the following Tuesday (along with Phil and Brett), and hoped life would carry on as usual. But I was a mess emotionally. I already missed him so much that I couldn’t focus on anything else. The small group that Tina and I lead meets on Wednesday nights. I knew that it would be an emotional evening for me as I would share about the events of the previous week. Needless to say, I had an emotional release that I hadn’t experienced since possibly the night I got saved. I sobbed like a baby for a good portion of the evening, as I attempted to share all that had happened. But every time I tried, this ocean of emotion (hey a rhyme) overcame me.

I love my Small Group. Not only did they understand, but they gathered around me and prayed for God to restore me. What an awesome time it was. The next morning I woke up completely refreshed and restored. I knew that Austin was in God’s hands, and I had such a tremendous peace. We miss him daily. But we talk to him at least a couple of times a day. He calls us as much as we call him. He’s learning about everyday responsibilities, and finding that things in life can be frustrating and inconvenient. But it’s neat to hear him taking it all in stride, and making the best of things.

Each of us is facing the unknowns of life more than ever right now. But Jesus promises peace; not as the world gives, but a peace that surpasses our human understanding. We have it in abundance, and we cherish it.

Brian

~ by Brian on August 30, 2007.